F223: Follow-up

Here's the thing . . . I am really thankful when I am thanked. I believe in a world of people longing for more respect for themselves and those they love, we need to keep reaching out and saying thanks. Tom Heermann, husband of suspended teacher, Connie Heerman, left his thank you on my post "C199: Classroom Repression and Expression":

Dear Kate:
Thank you for posting my wife Connie's unfortunate plight with the Perry Township School Board on your great blog!

As I google -- and use other search engines-- I am encouraged at the amount of public outrage surrounding her story. It's interesting to see the huge support in the U.K. Certainly The Guardian article sparked this (it was also carried in The Telegraph, also U.K.)

It's a whole new world today as far as news. It used to be a story ran and then was gone. Now it is rekindled over and over on the internet. I think this is good. It gets the important stories before the public -- and they are made more aware of them...

An example of how it's different today. The Guardian reporter wrote me an email after she picked up my reply to a forum post in "filmspotters" which showed up as a print page on google. I had gone to the forum, signed up and replied, thanking the person who posted the entry in support of Connie(and left my email there). Next thing I know The Guardian reporter asked, via my email, if she could interview Connie. The interview was all done by phone; the reporter wanted the story to run as soon as possible...it ran just several days later!!

As I review the blogs -- and I think there are now hundreds that have written about Connie -- only about two or three are not sympathetic. Most of the rest are overwhelmingly positive and puzzled at the severity of the 18-month unpaid suspension. The other thing that astrounded me: I'm picking up blogs in Spanish, Swedish, Russian, Chinese, French, German and Korean. This is amazing (google translates them).

On a recent local TV station, WISH TV, reporter Leslie Olsen covered Connie's trip to attend a five-day Freedom Writers Teachers book-planning and student-curriculum workshop in California, hosted by Erin Gruwell. Olsen interviewed Connie at the airport. At the end of the report, new Schhool Board president Steve Maple comments. He says he gets emails from around the country (on Connie), but makes no further comment. He then says that the Board has been unfairly represented in all the media coverage (ok, yes, sure). Gosh, this might have been a good time to half-heartedly compliment Connie for taking out a week of her summer vacation (now unpaid) to further her education (at her own expense) to help her at-risk students -- whom she can't teach until 18 months later!

The WISH TV piece is very favorable to Connie. I urge you to post the link of the recent WISH-TV coverage and have your readers see this revealing piece for themselves.

Once again, Kate, my sincere thanks.

Tom Heermann
Better known now as "Connie's husband

No, Thanks very much to you, Tom. Now this is a caring husband. I so hope there is justice done in this Indiana case. Perry Township Indiana School Board Be respectful.

I wasn't able to get the news clip to play, but the story is online.

E220: Ecofeminist Dr. Vandana Shiva

Dr. Vandana Shiva has been a hero since I first really listened to her speak five years ago on Bill Moyers. Her intelligence, courage, tenacity and heroism in facing down the US corporate giants bent on stealing water and destroying Indian agriculture is awe inspiring. She must battle coercive rules of trade under the World Trade Organization, of the World Bank and IMF – against all odds she is maintaining and even winning battles.

So I knew I felt great respect for Dr. Shiva and her work. What I didn’t know is that she is an ecofeminist.

Eureka! I found something yesterday that spoke directly to me. Ecofeminism . I confess from the onset that I am a brand new student, having only just found this term while looking up another. I did some reading. But that reading revealed my hero from India,

Vandana Shiva makes it clear that one of the missions of ecofeminism is to redefine how societies look at productivity and activity of both women and nature who have mistakenly been deemed passive, allowing for them both to be ill-used. For example, she draws a picture of a stream in a forest. According to her, in our society it is perceived as unproductive if it is simply there, fulfilling the needs for water of women’s families and communities, until engineers come along and tinker with it, perhaps damming it and using it for generating hydropower. The same is true of a forest unless it is planted with a monoculture plantation of a commercial species. A forest may very well be productive, protecting groundwater, creating oxygen, allowing villagers to harvest fruit, fuel, and craft materials, and creating a habitat for animals that are also a valuable resource. However, for many, if it isn't for export or contribution to GDP, without a dollar value attached, it cannot be seen as a productive resource (4 Staying Alive: Women, Ecology and Development 1988).

I have seen her as a prominent voice in the film, The Corporation, on Democracy Now a couple times,
Link TV and Bill Moyers as I said in the opening. She is richly eloquent in her description of the plight of the Indian farmer.

She is also a physicist and ecologist and the Director of the Research Foundation on Science, Technology, and Ecology. She is the founder of Navdanya -"nine seeds", a movement promoting diversity and use of native seeds. Dr. Shiva was the 1993 recipient of the Alternative Nobel Peace Prize -the Right Livelihood Award. And she is the author of many books, her latest is "Earth Democracy: Justice, Sustainability, and Peace."

There is an aspect of ecofeminism that I am not very interested in promoting. That is the metaphysical focus. Though I have no trouble with Wiccans or others who practice the magik, I am interested in Gaia or Earth as Mother is a metaphorical sense, rather than a literal worship. In part this is because literal interpretations devolve into silliness so easily. One only has to look at the xtian fundamentalists, the ‘intelligent design’ crowd to see this. (This TED film on A.J. Jacob's Living Biblically is fun.)

What I am interested in is reversing the priority, the sequence from economical first and ecological second. The ecological imperatives we must face trump the economical emphasis of our current structure.

Vandana Shiva explains how women's special connection to the environment through her daily interactions with it has been ignored. "Women in subsistence economies, producing and reproducing wealth in partnership with nature, have been experts in their own right of holistic and ecological knowledge of nature’s processes. But these alternative modes of knowing, which are oriented to the social benefits and sustenance needs are not recognised by the [capitalist] reductionist paradigm, because it fails to perceive the interconnectedness of nature, or the connection of women’s lives, work and knowledge with the creation of wealth.”

From what I can glean in this recent search, there is no ecofeminist definition that can be claimed as ‘the ecofeminist’ philosophy. For me, ignorance is bliss. I may refute my own notions a year from now, but so be it. I read:

Ecofeminism sprouted in the early 1970s as Western women became disillusioned with the ideologies of the day. The environmental movement lacked a feminist analysis. Feminism had little concern for nature. The Left paid almost no attention to women, animals, or ecology. Political organizations rarely included a spiritual component, and few spiritual groups cultivated a progressive political consciousness.

Almost 40 years later the exact same conditions prevail within the environmental movement- now recast as sustainability movement, Feminism – now with the 3rd wave attacking my generation - still has little concern for nature, the Left – now recast as Progressive- seem to have become more misogynistic. Now the activist vegetarian group, PETA is fully, vigorously misogynist. Xtianist think everyone is going to hell and I can’t speak to spiritual groups cultivating progressive political consciousness. I haven’t seen or heard of spiritual groups in a long while, just the Talibangelists.

For me, ecofeminism is a label I will adopt. I like the ring and I like Dr. Shiva’s example.

E212: Equality by Erudite Portly Dyke

It is an honor to present such exceptional writing by this Guest Blogger.

Because You Have a Belly-Button
cross posted at Shakesville by PortlyDyke | Sunday, August 03, 2008
Or: How Contemplating Your Navel May Lead You to An Understanding of Why Feminism is Fundamental

I observed the primary season of early 2008 with a fair degree of dismay. I saw what I believe was an intentional effort by the media and the powers-that-be to pit various oppressed populations against one another through the use of racist, sexist, homophobic, classist, and xenophobic dog-whistles.

I’ve since heard countless reports of people who have either abandoned or been “chased out of” blog-communities where they used to feel at least somewhat safe and allied, of rifts between meat-world friends who now no longer speak, and references to the “Oppression Olympics” which seem to have become a main event in many comment threads and dialogues.

I believe that it’s impossible to say whether this group or that group is “most oppressed” by our current system, because, in the end, the actual experience of being a member of an oppressed class is, at once, both recognizably shared and uniquely individual.

In addition, these forms of oppression have become so intimately interconnected that disentangling them is virtually impossible (especially for those who, by virtue of their race, gender, orientation, body-size, physical ability, and/or class, might get double-whammied, triple/quadruple/quintuple/sextuple-etc.-whammied by intersecting oppressions).

However, if I were pressed to make such an impossible judgment-call, I’d say that a fat, born-poor/raised-poor homeless trans-intersexual quadriplegic schizophrenic lesbian illegal immigrant of color over the age of 60 would probably take the Gold at the Oppression Olympics.

And you know what? It’s a fair certainty that such a person actually exists -- but there's a very good chance that she doesn’t have an internet connection, doesn’t know she’s entered the competition, and probably will not be showing up anytime soon to collect her medals. Because -- you know . . . . . she’s probably busy -- trying to fucking find something to eat and keeping fucknecks from beating her to a pulp on a daily basis.

See, the problem with figuring out who is really at the bottom of the Perilous Pyramid of Privilege[tm] is that it changes nothing about the Pyramid itself.

And even if you could win the Oppression Olympics?

All the prizes suck.

However, just because I don’t consider myself qualified to sit on the judges panel for Ms./Mr. Most-Oppressed of 2008 doesn’t mean that I haven’t been thinking about this question:

If one single oppressed population had to be chosen to “go first” and attain absolute Revolution, which would I choose?

My answer is: Women.

(Proceeding in bold text for emphasis.)

I believe that a totally successful Feminist/Womanist* Revolution resulting in the complete eradication of inequality between the sexes would change the world more profoundly right now than the eradication of racism, classism, homo/trans-phobia, able-ism, xenophobia, or any other single "ism" that I can think of at this moment.

Brash words, you say?

Let me be clear about this – I am not saying that the oppression of sexism is worse than any other form of oppression.

I’m saying that I believe that liberation from that oppression would have the largest immediate impact on how the world goes.

Here’s why: You have a belly-button.

I’m going to let you sit with that while I talk about some other shit. Later, I’ll get really, really obvious about this whole contemplate-your-navel thing – but if you haven’t figured out where I’m going with this yet, then follow instructions and think about your mid-section a bit as I wax on.

For years, I’ve been aware that sexism seems a very, very tough nut to crack.

As a rational human, it is actually incredible to me -- incredible (in the true sense of the word) --that I’m still having arguments with people about whether a nine-year-old girl could possibly be responsible for her own rape, that equal pay for equal work is something that is still being debated, and I am regularly astounded at the absolute terror some people seem to have when asked to take a look at the reality of inequality between men and women in this and other societies.

I think I understand why this level of terror exists -- because eradicating sexism would mean changing nearly everything.

One of the many reasons that I think that attainment of absolute equality between men and women would wreak the most profound level of change in humanity is this: It’s the revolution that would have to take place everywhere – it’s the revolution that would strike at the heart, hearth, and home of human society, regardless of geography, culture, race, religion, or creed -

- because you have a belly-button.

It’s common for oppressed populations to gather together – often because they literally can’t (as in, "are not allowed to") live in certain places, but also often to simply experience a sense of increased solidarity, community, and safety -- however illusory.

I have chosen, at various times of my life, to reside in “gay districts” (Vaseline Flats, The Swish Alps, etc.) – I even lived in a wimmin-only community at one point.

I have friends who are Hispanic/Latina/o who would never consider living outside the barrio, friends who are Black who could afford a house in a “better” neighborhood but who choose to remain in the ‘hood, friends who choose to commute long distances because they want to reside in a community that resonates a part of themselves that various systems of oppression ask them to hide, suppress, or otherwise make “acceptable” to the status quo.

This gathering-together/sequestering of oppressed populations -- often a vital life-line for those of us who deal with oppression on a day-to-day basis -- also has the unfortunate effect of reducing the "Regular Folks’" contact with the "Unregular Folks" in the most intimate part of their lives -- their home life -- which, I believe, often serves to accentuate the sense of “otherness” that facilitates oppression.

(Special Note for the Privilege-Awareness-Impaired: In this case “Regular” Folks=white, middle-to-upper class, able, straight, etc., and “Unregular Folks”=people of color, poor people, queers, differently-abled/minded, etc.. If you want to argue with me about that, you have five million other posts to read before I'll even consider talking to you about it. Start by reading this.)

While I embrace the fact that my years living as a queer-among-queers was an absolute necessity for me in terms of surviving my coming-out process and establishing my identity as a self-respecting queer, I also recognize that homogenizing my life (pun intended) probably resulted in me losing some opportunities to interface with “straight” people in ways which might have been eye-opening and consciousness-raising for them (and for me).

But see – that’s why I think that a successful Feminist/Womanist Revolution would be so powerful – why I believe that it could serve as an irresistible wedge in helping to bring down the entire Perilous Pyramid of Privilege – because you have a belly-button.

Unlike other oppressed populations, it’s not really possible for all, or even most, women to simply move into their own neighborhoods and create self-contained communities -- and have the human race continue.

The issue of whether human beings born or transitioned into female bodies are equal to those born or transitioned into male bodies runs through every culture, race, and nation.

The issue of whether anything can truly be classified or characterized as innately “male” or innately “female” has never been definitively answered, even though Patriarchal structures throughout human history have either just made up answers to this question, or hoped desperately that science would provide something that would help them justify the abuse and subjugation of women (and those perceived to be “like” women).

The issues that arise from institutional and personal sexism cook on every stove, and eat at every table. They sleep in every bedroom, resonate in every lullaby sung in every nursery, and issue forth from every television set in every living room. They linger around every campfire, and dangle under every roof.

I think that this is why contemplating and shifting inequality between men and women is so threatening to those who are invested in maintaining the status quo -- because it's so personal, and so present.

It isn't on the other side of the tracks, or the other side of the world -- it's here, and everywhere you could possibly go -- and coming to real cognizance of all the nooks and crannies that it infests, all the relationships that it has tainted and spoiled, and all the corners of your own consciousness that it inhabits requires a monumental amount of awareness.

In some ways, I believe that every woman who partners with a man in our society is essentially in a "mixed marriage" -- and faces all the dilemmas that those who are part of an oppressed class face when they marry or couple or parent or partner with someone who possesses greater privilege by virtue of being a part (happily or not) of the oppressing class.

And since each of us owes our very existence to such a coupling -- an egg from a woman and a sperm from a man -- it means that attaining true equality of the sexes affects each of us -- that the cultural and societal problems arising from the oppression called sexism reside smack dab in the middle of every home in the world.

Yes, even in the home of two gay men who have only male friends and work in an all-male business -- because one of the primary reasons gay men are harassed is because they are "like" women, and without institutionalized sexism, that really wouldn't be a problem, now, would it?

Yes, even in an all-male Catholic monastery -- because the primary reason that such institutions were created was because of this whole pesky egg/sperm thing, and those bad, bad women who brought sin upon the world.

And, obviously and especially – yes, in the mosque where women are not allowed to enter, and the golf-course where women are not allowed to tee off.

It's everywhere because every human being has (or once had) a belly-button.

Every single human being on this planet has a billboard on their abdomen that says this:

“I was once so connected with a female human body that we shared the same blood, the same oxygen, the same food. If it weren’t for that woman, I would not exist. Look – here is the evidence.”

So, if you think Feminism is not your issue:

Contemplate your fucking navel.

======================================
(*Blog Note re: Feminism/Womanism -- I really don’t care which term you use, as long as you mean this: Male and Female humans have equal rights, equal protection, and equal respect in all aspects of life.)
======================================
Teh Portly Dyke

C199: Classroom Repression and Expression

A teacher in Perry Township, Marion County, Indiana was suspended without pay for 18 months because she refused to abide by the School Board’s ruling that she stop teaching from the book, The Freedom Writers Diary.

I sent Melissa McEwan a link to this story because she lives in Indiana. She asked if I would write a post. Panic. Frankly, I don’t have school age kids any longer, don’t know fuckall about Indiana, but, but , but . . . But this story infuriated me. I do indeed have opinions about this, despite knowing nothing of Indiana School systems or teaching English courses. Besides, Melissa is hurting so I will make a go of it. To be fair, I hadn’t read the book or seen the movie.

The Freedom Writers Diary, a series of true stories written by inner-city teenagers, was put together by a teacher, Erin Gruwell, and has been celebrated as a model for transforming young lives. It was made into a film with Hilary Swank last year.

Connie Heermann, a teacher for 27 years, sought permission to introduce the book to her students last autumn after attending a training workshop held by the Freedom Writers Foundation.

Boy howdy does this teacher in the movie, Erin Gruwell, give her absolute all to these students. Yes, I watched the movie so I could judge for myself. She lost her husband from his inability to rise to her level of conscious living; she endures her dad, the activist she admires, insulting her judgment and takes two additional jobs to pay for books, field trips for her students.

I am always critical of the bathos in movies, television, commercials to manipulate us all. It is so tacky. The movie was pretty heavy handed and predictable. But, the story is vitally important to the values this progressive hold dear. Besides, the sheeple seem to love it when our moving pictures are slathered in sentimentality. At least that appears to be true given the glut of mawkishness, so it could boost viewing. Right? My snarkiness is another reason I hesitated to write this.

According to the Guardian, UK article, in the case of Ms. Heermann there was, according to the teacher’s union, one school board member who was opposed to swearing in the book and this member persuaded the six other members to take this action.

Heermann and the union say there was no explicit ban on the book when she handed it out to pupils on November 15. But later that day she received an email from the board advising her not to teach the book. “That was the pivotal moment of my life, when I saw how my students were taken with the book, how they loved it, and then I am told not to let them read it? I said no,” she said.

The school board denies book banning and accuses Heermann of insubordination. Barbara Thompson, the school board president, wrote in an email yesterday: “She knew she had defied her supervisors’ direction in her work and that her defiance was ‘insubordination’ and ‘neglect of duty’.”

Neglect of duty? What duty would that be? I am positive that was recorded in Perry Township without irony.

The name Freedom Writers was taken from the 60’s Civil Rights Freedom Riders and the Diary of Anne Frank, two inspiring historic events Erin Gruwell used to teach her students. As Ms. Heermann describes this teaching she thought her students could relate to “young people who want to do something good in their lives despite the environment in which they were raised.”

At the opposite end of the classroom spectrum is a story of an inspired principal in Whitwell, Tennessee who saw that her school was without diversity. She thought this was a problem if students were to be taught about tolerance and diversity. She sent her assistant principal to a State workshop and ultimately the school administration decided they would teach the students about the holocaust. So again Diary of Anne Frank was used to touch the hearts and imagination of these children. My own mother, an elementary school teacher before she married, told me that she was completely captivated by the Diary of Anne Frank. She read it after the war when I was little.

Whitwell Middle School in rural Tennessee is the setting for this documentary about an extraordinary experiment in Holocaust education. Struggling to grasp the concept of six-million Holocaust victims, the students decide to collect six-million paper clips to better understand the extent of this crime against humanity. The film details how the students met Holocaust survivors from around the world and how the experience transformed them and their community.

This I learned from a movie I watched last night called Paper Clips. This is a documentary, not a Hollywood film like The Freedom Writers Diary. It had a great deal of sentimentality and music crescendos, but I was moved. My heart felt open and pummeled. These are some good people and endearing rural kids from a town of 1,600 situated in Appalachia, just 100 miles from where the KKK originated.

I cried as I’d cried viewing the Freedom Writers. This was classroom expression at its finest and the entire town of Whitwell was supportive. The fact that I viewed this film was a happy accident. I learned about SnagFilms just yesterday and decided to check it out. I think I will watch it again.




PS - The price of this free film is annoying commercial breaks (thankfully brief) at the dumbest intervals.

T131: Trash Talk

trash talk

n.Disparaging, often insulting or vulgar speech about another person or group.

trash-talked, trash-talk·ing, trash-talks

intr.v. To speak disparagingly, often insultingly or abusively about a person or group.

What united millions after another lost (stolen?) election in 2004 was trash talking about George Bush. After the near worshipful and fear-based strictures against criticism of the pResident – the first mocking put downs were a wonderful relief. And with the monstrous disappointment of that election, fury was unleashed.

And indignation became addictive. We should have all been prepared for that after observing the decades of hate radio from the right. It is a sad and sorry thing to have this indignation addiction. I am katecontinued and I am indignant . . . perpetually.

But, it grows old. Randy Rhodes on Air America was the first trash talker posing as a progressive voice to piss me off. I simply stopped listening to her. But the list kept growing and growing. This last 5 months I am sick to death of the ugly misogynist slurs against Hilary Clinton and the racist, anti-Muslim hatred against Barack Obama. Melissa McEwan at Shakesville has been cataloging these hits. As of today there are 94 on the Hillary sexism watch .

These are a few highlights bulleted by Sadly No:

• Ariana giving Mickey Kaus’ brother space to accuse anyone who was upset about David Shuster’s “pimped out” comment of lacking a sense of humor.
• The LA Times trashes Hillary for “focusing on women’s and children’s issues.”
• Randi Rhodes calling Hillary “a big fucking whore.”
• “Blue dress day.”
• Maureen Dowd. No further explanation required.
• More Lewinsky nonsense.
• Roger Simon. Again, no further explanation required.
• And so on.

Melissa also writes:

I mean, how great has it worked out for conservatives that the reality-based community has failed utterly to perceive a comprehensive reality about either of its remaining candidates, not to mention cast aside all that rigorous adherence to fairness, accuracy, and cynicism about the media and rightwing frames on which the leftwing blogosphere was ostensibly built?

Maybe, just maybe, we shouldn’t have been so quick to stomp the shit out of her, or slay the golden calf for him—and hand to conservatives the perfect opportunity to make us look like we got it backwards, even if we didn’t.

We’re going to go into the general election with what looks to be a weak candidate either way, when we had the chance for the total opposite. And that won’t be Barack Obama’s fault, and it damn sure won’t be Hillary’s, no matter how many of the numbskulls who got us here try to blame her for their own idiocy.

I haven’t followed much of this horse race as I worked since last year to turn away from the political race to concentrate on the real life, grass roots work of living a sustainable life. But, I did read enough to know that Obama’s supporters became pretty crazed. I remember this group energy from the Daily Kos. This blog was another fauxgressive (Melissa McEwan’s word) site that has swarmed and attacked opposing opinions for some years now. But, lately I have been reading more of the attacks from the media, from Clinton supporters and GOP against Obama. Melissa’s survey of these attacks against Obama I noticed in April that she titled, Shakesville Doesn’t Cover Campaign Racism, where she lists almost 40 links “to get you started.”

Don’t get me wrong. I like snark and I read a couple sites with snarky humor. But, lately the misogyny and ugliness about women is getting too difficult to witness. This has been an ongoing struggle within my life. Laughter can be cruel and a weapon. I have been guilty of crossing lines. I am not proud of this. But the more conscious I become, the more difficult I find it to show disrespect in this way. And when I do, I am quicker to own up to this. It is not okay.

The number one weapon to shut women up is to say, “You have no sense of humor, I was just kidding.” Absolute bullshit, it’s talking trash. It all comes back to respect – or not.
Update: I just read something by Melissa McEwan that made me realize I hadn't differentiated between indignation and anger, directed anger. Let me quote from this short but but vital Feminism 101: On Anger post:

Progress is dependent on people who get angry, because anger—productive anger, motivating anger, directed anger, rational anger—is the root of all progress.

Feminists/womanists and their allies know that change comes by virtue of anger.

Progress ain't fueled by rainbows and gumdrops.

If you're not angry, you're probably not helping.

That is all.

R120: Rainbow Roar of Equality

May I proudly present Shaker Sarah in Chicago formerly from New Zealand. A strong voice I am most often fond of reading in the comments at Shakesville wrote this wonderful guest post at Shakesville, formerly Shakespeare’s Sister.

The Line is Drawn Here

On Tuesday April 29th last week, the College Republicans at Smith College held an event where Ryan Sorba, author of the Born Gay Hoax was to speak. The group was not expecting a huge turnout.

They were wrong.

A huge crowd turned up, and they weren't there for the refreshments. They drowned out Sorba, to the point of 10 minutes into his talk, Sorba gave up, being unable to be heard over the noise the protesters were making. The protesters even opened up the windows apparently to let more in to the session.

Of course, the conservatives are crying foul, claiming Sorba's freedom of speech was restricted, proving once again they do not know constitutional law. The usual shit that we get from their ilk when they can't take the heat of the kitchen.

However, even the Smith College president criticised the protesters, saying that the ideal of the college's free expression of ideas was compromised, and saying they were looking into whether or not college regulations were broken.

And you know what? Bullshit.

Maybe it's because I don't believe in 'freedom of speech', or more specifically the fundamentalism of infinitely free speech (and yes, I realise that many of you here disagree with me on this, but that's not really the point of this piece), but while I often agree with the free debate of issues (hell, in the Enlightenment French cafe debate ideal of the 19th century), I don't think it really applies here.

This ISN'T merely the exchange of opinions and ideas. This isn't about people on differing sides of issues finding together common ground and the best solution. THIS IS OUR LIVES.

We're in a battle for our very lives, for our human and civil rights, to live in our neighbourhoods and communities and be free from intimidation and violence. To love and date and treasure our families, friends and partners. To fight against oppression and heterosexism.

These aren't merely abstractions we're debating here. These are our LIVES. A bunch of conservatives thought they had the right to have a say in something that, honestly, doesn't fucking concern them in the slightest. How DARE they think they get to have a say on my life, my love, and those of my friends and loved ones? How fucking DARE THEY?

So yes, we will take this fight to you. We will shut you down. We will drown out those that would spread hate and intolerance under the 'protection' of freedom of ideas. Because you aren't spreading ideas and debate; even if you dress it up in the trappings of such a Trojan Horse, we recognise it for what it is—hate.

And we know what to do with hate.

This field of ideas is not level; we do not come to here on some fictional equal footing. To get where we even are now we have had to scrape, fight, struggle, bleed, and, yes, die, for every millimetre of ground. To somehow grant those with the privilege of hegemony to have an 'equal' say in our lives is to ignore the oppressions that have silenced us throughout history, that STILL privilege their voices, their arguments, over our own today.

And so I say enough. We will fight back in civil disobedience like this because the very civil world gives their vileness protections that should not be granted to hate. I say again, how DARE they think they get to have a say in this? I am not curtailing their rights. I am not arguing to have their love, their basic humanity, taken away from them. I am not trying to have them killed, alone, in the dark, as the life drains slowly out of them in some cornfield, tied to a fence. This isn't merely two sides of the same coin.

This is our LIVES. This is not merely some debate where you think I should just respect your 'opinion' to dehumanise me and deny me citizenship and my civil rights. How insane can you be to think we're merely going to listen to hate like that, and just go "We'll, you're entitled to that, I'll respect you" as though you weren't arguing for the denial of our equality. Our humanity. Our love.

This is not a debate. This is our lives.

This is our lives.

Cross posted

http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2008/05/line-is-drawn-here.html

http://kiwi-grrl.livejournal.com/64664.html

R118: Racist

Today I am blogwhoring. Well, maybe it is more polite to say I have a guest blogger or a cross-posting. Rana of Frogs and Ravens is a blogger I read and enjoyed at Shakesville. I recently read the following and wished I could have written it myself. So I asked Rana if I could share her writing with you here. She agreed.







This post was inspired by The Angry Black Woman's call for a Carnival of Allies.

A Note to My White Readers

Guess what? You, like me, are racist.

Before you get angry at me, stop for a minute. I'll explain what I mean.

First, a quick primer on what racism is, and what it is not.

It is not simply prejudice.

It is not simply prejudice based on stereotypes.

It is not simply prejudice based on stereotypes about people based on the color of their skin, the shape of their features, the curl of their hair, and so on.

It is prejudice based on racial stereotypes that manifests in a society with a long and brutal history of oppressing the people to whom those stereotypes were - and still are - applied.

A black individual in this country can be prejudiced against white people, but that is not racism. If that individual's prejudices are aired publicly, they are met with public condemnation. In some parts of the the country, and in its past, expressing that prejudice can result in violence, civil disenfranchisement, and even death.

The most that we, as white people, can expect, is the disapproval of our more enlightened peers and the complaints of people whom we have the power to ignore without penalty.

We will not be shot for being racists.

We will not be denied the vote for being racists.

We will not have to live our lives surrounded by the objects of our prejudice, if we do not choose to do so.

And this is even more the case if our racism is quiet, and subconscious, and doesn't even appear to be racism at all.

I am not a racist - I do not define myself by my prejudice. But I - like you - am racist, purely by dint of being a person of a privileged race in a society that allocates privileges according to race.

I am not proud of my racism - I work hard to reduce its presence in my life and in my mind.

But it is there.

It is there when I catch myself feeling more intimidated by a large black man than a large white man.

It is there when I find myself smiling an extra-wide smile at a black child as a way of compensating for the glares I assume that child must receive from other people who look like me.

It is there when I struggle to describe a colleague not as "black" - but rather as "that smart woman who likes to wear purple."

It is there when I see television coverage of something like the Jena 6 and turn away, bored already by an issue that doesn't seem to have anything to do with me.

It is there when I realize, abruptly, that all of my friends are white - and it is there when this bothers me.

It is there when I simply assume that the way I see the world is common sense, and that the views of people of color who challenge my understanding of racism and its workings are not simply different, but wrong, or stupid, or nonsensical. It is there when I can shrug and walk away from such conversations, knowing that whatever was said, I, because of my race, am free to ignore it.

We live in a society steeped in race, and race prejudice - and yet, because we are white, we can believe that we've moved "beyond race" and that anyone who "plays the race card" is a rabble-rouser (dare I say, even, that they are seen as "uppity"?).

We are racist. We are white people living in a society that rewards us while punishing others, for no better reason than how we and they look.

But we can become aware of those unearned rewards.

We can become aware of the ways in which we contribute to that unhealthy and unfair dynamic.

We can own our racism - own it with the goal of reducing it and reducing its effects on others.

We can be honest with ourselves, and take up the burden of living with the knowledge that yes - we are racist.

We are racist - and it is our responsibility to challenge that, in ourselves and in our society.

Screaming "am not!" from a defensive crouch does not make the problem go away.

All it does is shift the burden onto those who are the targets of racism - and that - that is one of the most glaring instances of racial privilege I can think of.

Say it with me.

I am racist.

And I will own that.

And I will do better. I will bear my own burden of racism so that its targets do not have to. I will listen, and learn, and develop the strength needed to fight racism and my own role in its perpetuation.

Say it with me.

___________________

Also Thanks to Natasha Mayers for "Don't Want to See"

Natasha was the artist in residence at Common Dreams for a year. She is now no longer there. Please join me in telling Common Dreams they are wrong to not keep Ms. Mayers' art front page.

M88: Misogyny

About this time in 2005 I watched the HBO movie, Left of the Dial, about the launch of Air America Radio. In this movie Randi Rhodes was an embarrassment. She pouted, posed and postulated that she was indeed the only radio professional and Al Franken, Janeane Garofalo and others should not be accorded the public relations spotlight. It was difficult to watch. When I started listening to Air America, streaming on my computer, I found Randi Rhodes one of my least favorite dj’s, but I listened to her every day in the build-up to the 2006. I was pissed and Randi worked it for me.

Even so, it was tough. As a feminist I found her a misogynist. She was constantly putting women down for the way they looked. She led the way in describing Ann Coulter as a tranny. Randi wasn’t the only misogynist. It was everywhere on Air America. She also made racist remarks and became incensed when called out. With her 3-4 hour bully pulpit she would hold court with sycophants who called in to the show (as most talk radio hosts seem to do) and treat any opposing opinion with ridicule and rudeness. For a long time now I have not been able to listen to her on Air America.

Her suspension at Air America this week is mild compared to what I think her ugly and non-progressive rants deserved. When so-called progressive, liberal spokespeople become hate filled leftist versions of the right it is the death of liberty and human rights. Fuck you Randi.

The post at Shakesville yesterday was well written (of course) and the comments were a real eye opener for the Air America personalities if they were to read them. Sadly, so many progressive blogs are just as guilty of misogyny as Air America and the corporate networks. In fact, I have tolerated a great deal over the years because I grew tired of being vigilant. I wearied in my resolution to live my life true to my belief systems when all around me there seemed to be so little support.

That is over. Visiting Shakesville daily in the last several years has given me hope and renewal. Melissa and so many others help me see that our solitary voices are important. For me the money line in Melissa’s post was this.

Congratulations, Randi Rhodes: You're as hip as Phyllis Schlafly.

I almost always forget to mention I am not a supporter of Hillary Clinton. I am also not an Obama supporter. I will reiterate that I am not interested in this media, culture obscenity of a campaign. I will give this my couple minutes of attention at the election in November. Prior to that my interests are more grassroots, netroots and sustainability.

M84: Myths America

I am still struggling with my own childhood's false history lessons. I was lied to from my elementary classes through high school education. The lies have continued with every elected leader in my lifetime. This is still the norm and it is such a monstrous lie that million of Americans can't get past the myths.

Howard Zinn's essay on Empire or Humanity? What the Classroom Didn't Teach Me says it better than I could dream of conveying about this nation's imperialism. This is an exceptional little video for clarity and teaching. Howard Zinn is a true hero of mine.

This animated video is adapted from this essay with visuals from the comic book and voiceover by Viggo Mortensen, as well as a section of the book on Zinn’s early life, is within the video above.

Howard Zinn is the author of A People’s History of the United States and Voices of a People’s History of the United States, now being filmed for a major television documentary. His newest book is A People’s History of American Empire, the story of America in the world, told in comics form, with Mike Konopacki and Paul Buhle in the American Empire Project book series.

M81: Movement Hero César Chávez

March 31 is celebrated in a handful of states because it is César Chávez Day. He would have been 81 today. César Chávez Day is an observed holiday in eight states: Arizona, California, Colorado, Michigan, New Mexico, Texas, Utah and Wisconsin.

This morning I watched Democracy Now on the computer and learned (re-learned?) about this profoundly beloved leader of Mexican farm workers from his companion and co-founder Dolores Huerta. Now as I write that last sentence I wonder how many of this nation's farm laborers are NOT Mexican.

Having spent yesterday afternoon digging in the soil, I heard about the farm labor movement with a heightened sense of awareness.

It is also the 40th anniversary today of the end of the grape boycott. I remember the boycott in 1968 as I found out about it after knowing I'd eaten grapes without any awareness. I stopped after heard about the UFW strike and César Chávez going on a 25 day fast of water only.

The United Farmworkers Union AFL-CIO (UFW) has a special place in the history of farm labor organizing. It is the only successful union ever established to defend the rights of those who grow and harvest the crops.

This PBS website answers my own question as I found that historically it was the Filipino farm workers who stared the grape boycott.

Everything changed on September 8, 1965. On that day another farmworker group, the Agricultural Workers Organizing Committee (AWOC), struck the Delano table grape growers. Most of AWOC’s members were Filipinos who had come to the U.S. during the 1930s.

One week later the NFWA voted to join the strike. Among the joint leadership were César Chávez, Dolores Huerta and Gilbert Padilla from NFWA, and Larry Itliong, Andy Imutan and Philip Veracruz from AWOC.

Today, in 2008 I am very frightened for the farm laborers. As unions are growing weaker and weaker in this corporatist country and as racial hatred gets stronger and stronger the situation is a tinderbox. César Chávez'said, “The first principle of non-violent action is that of non-cooperation with everything humiliating.”

Using more of César Chávez' own words:

"¡Sí se puede!"

"If you're not frightened that you might fail, you'll never do the job. If you're frightened, you'll work like crazy."

Painting by Robert Shetterly

L76: Laughter as Weapon

First let me say that I believe in using humor as a weapon over guns, bombs, tazers and tanks. The Daily Show is a formidable force against the lies and corruption of the people and institutions in powers. Laughter is a great assault on hubris. Jon Stewart’s self-deprecating style is refreshing against the ignorant arrogance Bush and Cheney. I recently embedded really funny videos of British funny guys Fortune and Bird. But I am emphatically against targeting people simply because they are different. Feminists, Environmentalists, Disabled, Blacks, LGBTQ or otherwise labeled by the privileged power brokers have all been fair game in politics, advertising and entertainment.

My previous post was about the seemingly spontaneous groundswell of defiance against Jay Leno’s continued homophobic, lame comedy on the Tonight Show. The full response is still growing. BTW, I learned in this event that the Q of LGBTQ would make it “Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transsexual & Queer” (or Questioning). One commenter today was critical of all the posters saying there were more important issues than being so hyper-sensitive to this comedy. Melissa McEwan gave her usual erudite response. A portion follows:

Jeff and I have already gotten so many emails expressing gratitude for providing a space in which LGBTQs and their allies can express frustration or contempt or anger at something of which, we have all been told in explicit or implicit ways, our jovial and uncomplaining acquiesce is expected.

In the larger world, people are silenced by the fear of reprisal, by the fear of being told they are humorless, hypersensitive, over-reactionary, boring. It's a terribly effective silencing strategy, which is why the conveyance of heteronormativity is so often closely associated with humor. Anyone who dares complain is just No Fun -- hence, we find ourselves mired in a culture in which LGBTQ and allied people who don't laugh at gay jokes and treat them as No Big Deal are the ones considered weird.

It can be really daunting to go up against all that, especially in one's everyday life, on one's own, just one person against someone(s) equipped with such an effective institutionalized mechanism for shaming and silencing.

I am fully aware of my own behavior. I have used humor to silence, to put down and to fight back. In retrospect I was taught this passive, aggressive style since I was a little girl. This week is an 'Earth' week, so I'm thinking of my roots. My father was always considered a funny, funny man. This family photo below really struck me. My father brought howls of laughter more than fifty years ago by imitating a drunk. What irony that he died in his early fifties largely because of alcohol.

Oh yes, he was constantly imitating limp-wrist fairies, the cliché of the times for all homosexuality. In later years, after my parents were divorced I heard that he had some latent homosexual experiences before he remarried two more times. It made a lot of sense to me in retrospect as I could well imagine this tortured man was closeted.

But, my biggest battle in my young life was against my father’s bigotry and racism. He was a Kentucky-born man who was proud of his racist views, though he learned to mask them in the Midwest where he moved for his wife’s family connections. Just as with aping the drunk and the pouf, his Stepin Fetchit numbers may have hidden his own angry refusal to speak of his possibly mixed family roots in the Deep South. Humor was where he attacked because this was culturally acceptable. Also, I believe he was a frightened coward at heart.

Let me be clear, a life without humor is unimaginable. Laughter is healthy, it feels physically cleansing and deliciously sensual. One of my primary fears in my life is taking myself too seriously, and laughter is a great antidote to pomposity or navel gazing. I just think that Melissa makes a wonderful point of laughter or fear of being laughed at is a tool of manipulation. It opens a flood of ruminations.

L75: Loss

I sometimes play tricks on myself. I use the most painful loss in my life and compare it to something I think I am missing, needing or wanting. It works because there isn’t anything in creation that can compare. As of this week there are now (at least) 4,000 families around this country who lost a precious family member to the aggressive invasions and occupations in the Middle East. Nothing these families might purchase will compare with the loved one who is gone forever. Even though those of all ages died and will be mourned, many were still only children, teenagers.

I lost my daughter to suicide with a gun eighteen years ago, when she was only nineteen years old. But on her birth date, March 27, she fills my heart and my thoughts. Her name was Angela and we called her Angel. She was an incredible person – beautiful, intelligent, funny, street smart and very good hearted. I never stop missing her in my life and I celebrate that she was born and that I enjoyed raising her and even working with her - as a young adult. She was the whiz kid techie office manager, who taught herself the IT world and accounting in the Manhattan interior design firm where I worked in the eighties. Not many parents get that experience in this day and age. I cherish the memory.

But this March 27 date does trigger thoughts of loss, just as the May 31 anniversary of Angel’s death does. Loss through death is a part of everyone’s life. Death is particularly devastating when someone dies young, suddenly or without cause. As usual I am trying to glean from all this feeling something that I can grasp to share or use to move along.

Just because Janis Joplin’s lyrics, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing else to lose” are so true form me, doesn’t mean I roll over on every loss. I think we all should be fighting tooth and nail for what is becoming a long list of losses for Americans.

Except for a tiny percentage of people who have gained or expanded their extreme wealth, the last eight years has meant loss in every aspect of life:

• Jobs
• Health
• Homes
• Savings
• Privacy
• Security
• Free Speech
• Food Quality, Safety
• Family Businesses
• Family Farms
• Infrastructure
• Social Services
• Constitutional Rights
• Human Rights
• Accountability
• Open Government
• Voting Confidence
• Democratic Media
• Clean Air
• Clean Water
• Justice
• Sexual & Repoductive Freedom
  

Through grassroots, netroots, friendships, community councils, neighborhood associations, letters to the editors, unions and book clubs we need to talk to each other and encourage each other. At some point it would be good if we could stop accepting our assigned roles as consumers and become citizens again. I have seen and read how this process was foisted on Americans and then other western countries via advertising after WWII. Check out The Century of the Self documentaries from the BBC for some real insight on this subject.

Oh, did mention that I cancelled my DirecTV yesterday? So, last night was my first night in almost a decade without digital or satellite television. I have been whining about my addiction to television for a very long time. I have claimed that I miss reading novels. Now it is a fait accompli. I watched the above BBC documentaries on my computer instead.

I am really uncomfortable, anxious and cranky. Just like I was when I quit smoking. Just like I was when I decided against internet for some months in ’05. Or when I gave up carbohydrates for most meals or shopping at Wal-Mart . . Or when I stopped eating meat at every meal . . . Or when, you get the idea. We are all conditioned through the onslaught of this consumer social set-up to believe that discomfort is pain. We come to believe that unhappy is just negative thinking or mental depression that is the individual’s responsibility to eliminate instead of something outside of us to address.

We will learn how to get back what we have lost in our country. Many have supposedly died for our way of life. Let’s fight for the way of life our loved ones might have been willing to fight for or we would have longed for them to have lived.

BTW, I will get past this lack of television. I have lost things far more valuable and survived. And, unlike the long list of links above, I chose to lose my television viewing. My choice.

L74+: Leno - Fuck you and the Gay Look

As I wrote the other day, I agreed with Melissa McEwan that Jay Leno is an asshole. Well, Shakespeare's sister herself, Melissa has mounted a wonderfully invigorating campaign, Gayest Look for Leno Collection

Yes, katecontinued contributed this put a cork in it image. Explanation of Jay Leno's assholery here.

I encourage anyone who believes in human rights and telling the corporate media they suck to join in.

Update: This has really taken off.

A whole website has been created by Melissa and Jeff Whitty for those wanting to contribute their Gayest Look for Jay Leno.

My favorite this morning is this contribution.

H55: Hero Howard Zinn

This last entry of this week of *H* topics also ends this 4 weeks of fire element, of passion. I have written about passion, action, energy, fun, emotion and excitement. Here is a little more loving before acknowledging real crisis.

This guy is one old white guy I feel good about loving. Believe me, for me the list is very, very tiny. But Howard Zinn is a hero for me. This last week he wrote about the US Presidential elections. I absolutely agree with him that they deserve my 2 minutes of attention. That said, I gave the elections several more minutes in the following links focusing on the feminist perspective. Like any addict, I visit more political websites than I should. It serves no real purpose. But, Howard says it far better than I might.

Here are some of the specifics in his criticism, speaking against our obsession with the election he titles, Election Madness.

He begins with a story about a Floridian who has written him long handwritten letters over the years. The man is a blue collar guy with a security guard job who has always railed against the failures of the capitalist system to assure “life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness” for working people.

Just today, a letter came. To my relief it was not handwritten because he is now using e-mail: “Well, I’m writing to you today because there is a wretched situation in this country that I cannot abide and must say something about. I am so enraged about this mortgage crisis. That the majority of Americans must live their lives in perpetual debt, and so many are sinking beneath the load, has me so steamed. Damn, that makes me so mad, I can’t tell you. . . . I did a security guard job today that involved watching over a house that had been foreclosed on and was up for auction. They held an open house, and I was there to watch over the place during this event. There were three of the guards doing the same thing in three other homes in this same community. I was sitting there during the quiet moments and wondering about who those people were who had been evicted and where they were now.”

Some news highlights around the same time of this letter included the following that may be reported in the media, but they are gone in a flash:

• Thousands in Mass. Foreclosed on in ’07.
• 7,563 homes were seized, nearly 3 times the ’06 rate.
• 750,000 people with disabilities have been waiting for years for their Social Security benefits
• Social Security is underfunded and there are not enough personnel to handle all the requests, even desperate ones.

These stories are instantly gone (if even reported) but the press day after day is relentless fixated on the election frenzy.

I felt his scrutiny as he describes those of us who have ranted about the corporate media’s domination and should distance ourselves, yet we are “transfixed by the press, glued to the television set, as the candidates preen and smile and bring forth a shower of clichés with a solemnity appropriate for epic poetry”. Howard doesn’t describe the blog addiction, but suffice it to say . . .

The following really struck me with the historical comparison of the thirties to the present, both as times of national crisis.

No, I’m not taking some ultra-left position that elections are totally insignificant, and that we should refuse to vote to preserve our moral purity. Yes, there are candidates who are somewhat better than others, and at certain times of national crisis (the Thirties, for instance, or right now) where even a slight difference between the two parties may be a matter of life and death.
I’m talking about a sense of proportion that gets lost in the election madness. Would I support one candidate against another? Yes, for two minutes—the amount of time it takes to pull the lever down in the voting booth.

But before and after those two minutes, our time, our energy, should be spent in educating, agitating, organizing our fellow citizens in the workplace, in the neighborhood, in the schools. Our objective should be to build, painstakingly, patiently but energetically, a movement that, when it reaches a certain critical mass, would shake whoever is in the White House, in Congress, into changing national policy on matters of war and social justice.

Do read the original article for details. It is filled with the fact of a people’s movement on many fronts in the thirties. Roosevelt pushing progressive programs all by himself is a false picture. He was pressured by many forces, people in the streets, people protesting. There were “disturbances of the unemployed” in all the major American cities. Strikes were everywhere, all over the country with frightened, desperate people defying police and creating self-help organizations. Without this national crisis, the New Deal politics would never have been instituted.

It is painful for me to acknowledge the truth in what Zinn proceeds to tick off about today’s Democratic Party refusing to move off the center. And all progressives do know that these two candidates are in no way addressing and radical change in the status quo. I will add here in my own words Feminist rights, equality under the law. It is our turn.The list goes on with what people cry out for but neither candidate is offering;

• Job guarantee to everyone who needs one
• Minimum income for every household
• Housing relief to everyone who faces eviction or foreclosure
• Deep cuts in military budget
• Radical changes in the tax system to free trillions for social programs to transform the way we live

None of this should surprise us. The Democratic Party has broken with its historic conservatism, its pandering to the rich, its predilection for war, only when it has encountered rebellion from below, as in the Thirties and the Sixties. We should not expect that a victory at the ballot box in November will even begin to budge the nation from its twin fundamental illnesses: capitalist greed and militarism.

So we need to free ourselves from the election madness engulfing the entire society, including the left.

Yes, two minutes. Before that, and after that, we should be taking direct action against the obstacles to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Zinn, the historian, the activist spells out the American response to crisis after the Revolutionary War when farmers couldn’t pay taxes and neighbors, friends filled the courthouse steps and would not let auctions of the farmer’s lands and goods proceed. In the thirties, people organized themselves and when evicted families’ goods hit the streets, they helped haul them back inside, illegally.

Historically, government, whether in the hands of Republicans or Democrats, conservatives or liberals, has failed its responsibilities, until forced to by direct action: sit-ins and Freedom Rides for the rights of black people, strikes and boycotts for the rights of workers, mutinies and desertions of soldiers in order to stop a war.

Voting is easy and marginally useful, but it is a poor substitute for democracy, which requires direct action by concerned citizens.

I started make-a-(green) plan because of my own disenchantment with the political situation.

It is a really formidable task to tune out this orchestrated election crap. The sustainable blogs I read are growing in the recognition of how important it is to step away from our computers and our television screens. Like any addiction it is tough. But feeling miserable seems almost a prerequisite to change. Why do we think we should change the world without inconvenience, discomfort, depression, anger, etc? I need to keep reading brave articles like this and trusting my own notions. I knew I should trust my feelings of being under-whelmed on supercalifragilistic Tuesday.

P.S. Did you notice that not once did Howard Zinn feel compelled to discuss anyone needing to have the ‘balls’ to stand up? That is refreshing.

Painting by Robert Shetterly

H51: Health at Every Size (HAES)

I hadn’t planned on writing about this right now, but I am so put off by the comment threads, the posts at my favorite blogs that I changed my mind. I am going to quote heavily from Kate Harding of Shapely Prose. Especially moving for me is her essay, Fantasy of Being Thin. I encourage full reading here.

My point today is to buttress my own spirit rather than to race around the blogs and try to ‘counsel’ or ‘fix’ or ‘lecture’ anyone else. This essay of Kate’s was meaningful to me because I feel I have spent a half century being manipulated by my culture into believing myths. This Myths America katecontinued thread covers a range of areas from Women’s bodies, to Bu$h SOTU Lies, to US imperialism, to Superduperorgasmic media pimping to Diets don’t work and to the Misogynist campaign tactics.

Besides the myth that America is the greatest nation on earth, these are some the themes that spark my need to blog. Let me just say that confronting myths, betrayals, disappointments is a certain kind of anguish. It is the death of a dream, a crisis of hope. I say this despite the fact I value truth over fairy tales. And that is a good segue to fantasy.

Obese patients are often encouraged to believe that weight loss is an appropriate way to combat depression, save a failing marriage, or increase the chance of career success. The irrationality of hopes pinned on weight loss is so striking that dieting might almost be likened to superstitious behavior…. Passing from childhood into adolescence, leaving home, marrying, starting a new job, having a baby, experiencing marital difficulties, adjusting to children leaving home, and growing old — all these life situations may become unexamined reasons to diet. In other instances, concerns over weight mask even more serious problems.”

-Wooley and Garner, from “Obesity treatment: the high cost of false hope,” published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, vol. 91, no. 10, 1991.

Kate begins with this quote found in a co-blogger’s writing. As a starting place it is telling how my own thinking about the obesity crisis as overblown and fueled by a consumerist economy and that fat acceptance was a vital step in my own understanding of the statistical rejection of dieting or that dieting and exercise did not spell thin. For anyone reading this who doesn’t know about Health at Every Size might check out all of the resources and questions answered here. This is a whole ton (excuse pun) of information to absorb and also ease into the acceptance of a fat body as worthy of love and not something to direct shame and revulsion. And this struggle is what Kate captured for me.

But then, the other day, I got to thinking about a particular kind of resistance that shows up every single time anyone dares to say that dieting doesn’t work — the kind that comes from other fat people and amounts to, “DON’T YOU TAKE MY HOPE AWAY!” Those of us in the anti-dieting camp are frequently accused of demoralizing fat people, of sending a cruelly pessimistic message. I’ve never quite gotten my head around that one, since the message we’re sending is that you’re actually allowed to love your fat body instead of hating it, and you can take steps to substantially improve your health without fighting a losing battle with your weight. I’m pretty sure that message is both compassionate and optimistic, not to mention realistic. But there will always be people who hear it as, “I, Kate Harding, am personally condemning you to a lifetime of fatness! There’s no point in trying, fatty! You’re doomed! Mwahahaha!”

Despite all of the encouragement to accept one’s self, to be active, to live the life one chooses without needing to wait until one is thin enough, the magical thinking continues. Some examples Kate offers up from her own life:

• When I’m thin, I’ll have no trouble finding a partner/reinvigorating my marriage.
• When I’m thin, I’ll have the job I’ve always wanted.
• When I’m thin, I won’t be depressed anymore.
• When I’m thin, I’ll be an adventurous world traveler instead of being freaked out by any country where I don’t speak the language and/or the plumbing is questionable.
• When I’m thin, I’ll become really outdoorsy.
• When I’m thin, I’ll be more extroverted and charismatic, and thus have more friends than I know what to do with.

[Snip] In light of that, it’s a lot easier to understand why some people freak out when you say no, really, your chances of losing weight permanently are virtually nil, so you’d be better off focusing on feeling good and enjoying your life as a fat person.

[Snip]Overcoming The Fantasy of Being Thin might be the hardest part of making it all the way into fat acceptance-land. And that might just be why I’d pushed that part of the process out of my memory: it fucking sucked. Because I didn’t just have to accept the size of my thighs; I had to accept who I am, rather than continuing to wait until I magically became the person I’d always imagined being. Ouch.

That is, of course, a pretty normal part of getting older. You start to realize that yeah, this actually is it, and although you can still try enough new things to keep anyone busy for two lifetimes, you’re pretty much stuck with a basic context. There are skills, experiences, and material things you will almost certainly never have, period. It’s a challenge for all of us to understand that accepting this fact of life does not necessarily mean cutting off options or giving up dreams, but simply — as in the proverbial story about the creation of the David — chipping away all that is not you. But for a fat person, it can be even harder, because so many fucking sources encourage us to believe that inside every one of us is “a thin person waiting to get out” — and that thin person is SO MUCH COOLER.

In paraphrasing her point, I needed to find out that my fantasy to be a mythical me was more than being a thin me. For me it was to acknowledge I wouldn't be a katemastered instead of katecontinued. I need to know that my story, my life won’t be about completing a deadline, achieving an end goal. It will be my own continuing saga in progress.

Accepting myself has always has been more difficult than taking on a regimen of some sort. Mounting a campaign to change myself is a great motivator, an energizer for me. Knowing this is a plus. I know now that even though it is easy enough to slip into a weight loss challenge to pump myself up, it is damaging. So, I recognized the adrenaline rush to make-a-plan when I contemplated a sustainable challenge instead. For myself, the sustainability movement helps ground me. My body, specifically my archetypal body, as a mature woman feels more natural than ever before. I am healthy yet my loss of strength and fitness are keeping me from feeling great. But I know I will get these back over this next phase of my life, my life challenge. It is the natural progression in stepping outside and reconnecting to nature, my garden and my community. And it means not only eating locally, organically . . . but eating instinctually.