Z362: Zilch

Well, I tried. I called the owner’s supervisor for my mobile home park. I tried to get the space rent for this last month of the year forgiven. I ran out of money. I thought that I might point out that I have written and distributed 18 newsletters for the park this year. The owner and the staff apparently love them and use them to illustrate how happy their property residents are . . . Ahem.

It is true. I did not do any of these things for income and I enjoyed the work. But, after reading Sharon's post about paid newspaper journalists v bloggers the wheels in my brain started turning.

So, while some of the men are paid to build a fence, repair plumbing or trim a tree, there is no remuneration for this newsletter or for painting, planting, designing art projects, etc. *sigh* Happy Birthday to me. So much has been going so right, I guess I figured this was a sure thing. Silly me.

Just like our culture . . . we only allocate 'health funds' for sickness, not wellness. There is funding for breaking down and not maintaining or enhancing. Big generalizations deserving deeper study, but not just now.

I must quote Virgina Woolf.
Money dignifies what is frivolous if unpaid for.
~ Virginia Woolf


Rosa said...

How much is your rent, anyway?

Sometimes blogs run these fundraiser thingies...

katecontinued said...

The main issue I chose to reveal in this story is of the lack of value for creating the newsletter.

No, I think I just wanted to put it out there that I get it about the whole economic insecurity is pretty wide spread.

I don't think I can take on the whole fundraising effort. It just feels wrong. My rent is $500 and I can get caught up without real hardship.

katecontinued said...

Rosa, you survived the holidays! Congratulations. I was starting to feel I'd written something to piss you off. (I do that it seems . . .)

Rosa said...

Never. I just haven't had much intelligent to add.

We actually had a really nice holiday. The big fight I had with my boyfriend's brother last fall, which means now we visit his family but actually stay with friends, has made everything WAY better.

I'm sorry your work isn't valued by management :( That's so often true of emotional/community building (women's) work, but it always is a shock when it hits you personally.

katecontinued said...

I also wanted you to know that I have been thinking about the points you made regarding the number of activists doing work - but being infiltrated and aggressively obstructed / punished . . . plus the non-coverage. I need to keep reminding me of this vast group - vast, internationally that is. That makes the US activists' work even more important. We are all in this together, by ourselves.

Rosa said...

I'm glad it's sticking with you. This awful thing in Gaza...and the coal power plant action in DC...and the TVA spill...and just all the last-minute damage the Bushies and their allies are wreaking (I do think this affected Israel's timing, though it was interesting to hear on the news last night that Egyptians blame their own government as well)...the whole world thinks Americans are just sitting on their asses doing nothing, because we're so ineffective with our opposition.

I HAVE to find a way to get reinvolved. My son has gotten so much more independent, and I'm not doing school for a while, I feel like I have a shot. Lots of people manage to have lives along with jobs and kids.

I sort of feel like I've been letting my partner block me a lot, like I've been warped by his money insecurities and fears in the way a really possessive jealous man warps his partner sexually. We had this big fight about how he can't actually expect me to understand his family's codes & secret communications, and it made me realize that he doesn't really see me as fundamentally a separate person from himself. I need to figure out to what extent I can be that separate person again without breaking up our partnership.

katecontinued said...

What in our culture, religion, customs, laws assist us in the very things you want to take on right now?

An activist for humanity is tough, but an activist for woman, for self is tougher. IMHO

2009 could be devoted to "What's mine?" - Daily . . . and you would advance the cause, develop self mastery and be one powerful teacher / example. It matters. If the individual relationships with men improve - all improves.

I am cheering you on while knowing this struggle is THE struggle if you are born woman in the nation, in this time. Feel free to share . . . guest post or simply rant. WEV.

Rosa said...

Someday, I'll totally finish one of these things, and guest post.

Thanks for the encouragement. I don't get a lot - our relationship is already so much better than any of the other coparenting pairs i know, it's hard to find someone who gets why I feel limitd by it.

katecontinued said...

The message all around us is STFU. When I voice that I think my son might be more, say more, show more . . . or in anyway reach beyond mainsteam expectations (especially regarding our relationship) - I am scolded by my mother, friends and CASUAL ACQUAITANCES - "Hey, don't be so hard on him blah, blah, blah . . ." I should be grateful for anything semi-polite and not hurtful and shut the fuck up. Everything is either-or, yes-no, etc.

Lowered expectations all around - FREE DUMB.

I am not putting pressure on you for a guest post, just letting you know you have a spot when the post you choose is written.

Chile said...

Kate, I'm sorry also to hear that the higher up muckity-mucks at your park are unwilling to pay for your hard work. It doesn't surprise me as I have found that many are more than happy to accept volunteer work but balk quickly if expected to pony up some dough for all the hard work.

Much of my past employment has been in non-profits where a similar theme plays out: if you are dedicated to the cause, asking for a deserved raise is a real black mark on your record. That is, unless you are in the top rungs pushing around a whole lot of paper, not on the ground actually doing the things that make a difference. Sense a sore spot here? You betcha!

Anyway, I do hope your new year goes well for you.

katecontinued said...

Back at you Chile.

I must say I was disappointed, but the last two days brought sunshine, checks and a birthday brunch from a lovely neighbor. So, these things help me get unstuck from my pissy mood.