Yes, it was a cheerful happy event to be with my son for his birthday breakfast. We covered all kinds of topics, the day was sunny and beautiful, the food was delicious, the service excellent and feelings were light and loving. On the drive by the ocean on the way home I was saying how I want to know ways to be a better mom. He said, “You could try not to suck so much.” We laughed. Hard. That is exactly the kind of humor he uses – out of nowhere – that cracks me up. It helps me not take myself or life too, too seriously.
Anything that strips your shell and opens you up for love also opens you up for rejection. So very painful and so very hard. Yet without relationships, what are we?
The real essence, energy of my life comes from love. The love of my son and for my son is my most genuinely simple love. This love also exerts a toll and requires I keep equilibrium. Love is a fire.
Fire is the element of these next four weeks. My week started with a real fire, a rage against the political, corporatist world. I mellowed with memories of birthdays past and good food. I called out my brain cells and my research notes to talk electrical energy records.
Equitable states must be achieved from my eliminating some things in my life, strengthening still more and gaining others. I must remember that this is about endurance (for me, for humankind) not a race to the finish (or race to the end of the year).
